Ten types of graduates you'll meet this season

Graduation season is here! A time when years of academic toil finally pay off. Some have taken three years, others four, and for a few, it might have stretched to five, but ultimately, it’s a season of caps, gowns, and jubilations. With these ceremonies come an array of unique personalities gracing the graduation square. Let’s dive into the 10 types of graduates you’re bound to encounter:

The low-key achievers

These are the silent stars. Whether graduating with first-class honors or even as valedictorians, they keep their achievements on the down low. You’ll only discover their academic feats through the school’s social media pages or official publications—not from their own accounts. Quietly brilliant!

The content creators

Reels? Check. Transitions? Check. Viral challenges? Double check! These graduates turn their ceremonies into full-blown productions. Armed with trending songs and flawless editing, they create and post content in real-time, flooding timelines before their tassels even shift. They’ve even convinced their shy classmates to join the social media parade.

The extra enthusiasts

The party started months ago for this group. They were 100 per cent certain they’d graduate, so they planned grand celebrations well in advance. Think two full matatus loaded with church members and extended family, all headed to the ceremony. If something goes wrong, though, their dreams could come crashing down.

The embarrassed bunch

These graduates feel like impostors on their own big day. Perhaps they should have graduated three years ago, but were held back by an academic misstep. Their peers have moved on—careers established, some even raising families. Worse, some had fibbed about pursuing degrees, only to graduate with diplomas. Standing on the square without the iconic cap, they can’t fully embrace the moment.

The big spenders

For these folks, graduation is a huge deal, and no price is too high. Whether it’s paying a premium for makeup, outfits, or elaborate photography, they splurge to make the day unforgettable. If looking good was a degree, they’d graduate top of their class.

The missing in action

These graduates couldn’t be bothered with the actual ceremony. They grabbed their gowns from the administration office and promptly disappeared, attending to “more important commitments.” Their families, knowing their aloof nature, didn’t even bother attending.

The solo riders

“Save the trip; we’ll celebrate at home,” they tell their families. These graduates discourage anyone from attending, citing logistical issues, such as distance or guest restrictions. They show up alone, attend the ceremony solo, and return home days later for a quiet family celebration—after first partying with friends.

The mysterious ones

These graduates are enigmas. They’ll post a photo in a gown, but you won’t know the school, ceremony date, or even see a fellow graduate in the frame. Some don’t bother with the graduation fanfare at all, collecting their certificates months or even years later when necessary.

The emotional kings and queens

For these graduates, the road to this moment was long and arduous. From financial struggles to academic setbacks, they’ve been through it all. Tears flow freely—from the moment they pick up their gown to the very end of graduation day. “Wacha walie, hii kitu iwatoke!”

The attention seekers

These are the drama kings and queens of the ceremony. They dance and wave their way to the stage, ensuring all eyes are on them. Their theatrics overshadow everyone who came before them. It’s not surprising—they likely attended a group of schools where one goes to the podium to receive their certificate, unlike others in public universities who just stand for recognition. [Ronald Kipruto]