No one aspires to become a baby mama, but circumstances sometimes make it inevitable. While some accept their reality and move on, others remain a constant source of chaos in the life of their baby daddy. Here are ten types of baby mamas you are likely to encounter in Kenya:
She wields the child as a weapon of manipulation, using them to coerce the baby daddy into meeting her demands. Should he fail to send the Sh100,000 she is asking for “child support,” she’ll threaten to expose him as an irresponsible father in the most embarrassing way possible.
Despite having parted ways a decade ago, she still refers to her ex as “my husband.” Even though the man has moved on and started a new family, she clings to the title of “first wife” and refuses to let go, despite his repeated insistence that their chapter is closed.
Her social media platforms are a permanent stage for rants about the “wickedness of men.” Every time you meet her, she is airing grievances about how the man who fathered her child ruined her life. She doesn’t care revealing to anybody who cares to listen how that baby daddy sent her only Sh1,000 for the upkeep of their four children, even though he’s financially well-off. She will eagerly join any forum criticising men.
Chaos is her middle name. She will storm her baby daddy’s workplace or home, accusing him of neglecting his child. If she hears he is planning a wedding, she will show up uninvited, child in tow, snatch the microphone from the MC, and declare that he cannot marry while he has “unfinished business” with her.
Years after their breakup, she’s still lurking on his social media, analysing every post for signs of success or failure. If he is struggling, she will thank heavens, claiming her prophecy that he wouldn’t thrive without her is coming true. If he is doing well or remarries, she will plot ways to disrupt his new life.
When the baby daddy vanished upon learning of the pregnancy, she picked up the pieces and moved on. She has no time to dwell on the past, focusing instead on building a better life for herself and her child. Eventually, she finds closure and a fresh start.
Just because her first man left her, she gave up on herself entirely. She has no hope in life and therefore, anajiachilia vilivyo. Her hair is perpetually unkempt, her wardrobe consists of old, shapeless dresses, and she hasn’t worn make-up in months. Her defeatist attitude defines her daily life.
Her life on social media is a carefully curated façade designed to impress her baby daddy. She posts photos beside luxury cars and lavish homes (which don’t belong to her) to create the illusion that she is thriving post-breakup.
After her baby daddy left, she turned to religion, moving from one pastor/prophet to another, hoping for divine intervention to bring him back into her life, and her child’s. Her life is now centred around seeking spiritual solutions.
Once the most arrogant woman around, she is now a model of humility. She calls her baby daddy with a soft, sweet tone, to indicate she is a changed person and frequently drops off the child for bonding sessions, hoping it will rekindle their past relationship. Beneath the surface, her ultimate goal is to win him back. She is basically mtu wa kujipendekeza.
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