10 types of Kenyan fathers-in-law

Navigating the dynamics of a relationship with a father-in-law can be a unique and sometimes challenging experience. In Kenya, fathers-in-law come in various forms, each with their quirks and demands. Here are ten types you might encounter:

1. The Snitch

This father-in-law is always in your business. He's constantly checking in, wanting to know every detail about your marriage, especially how his daughter is doing. He’ll call frequently, sometimes to pry into private matters, and if you have any plans—like building your mother a house—he’s the first to question why he hasn't received the same consideration.

2. The Omba Omba Brigade

This one has a penchant for asking for "emergency" financial assistance, which more often than not turns out to be funding for his drinking habits. Whether it’s chang’aa or busaa, he expects you to foot the bill, leaving you in a tricky spot between blocking his calls and dealing with the fallout from his daughter.

3. Missing in Action

You rarely hear from this father-in-law unless something serious is going on. When he does call, you know it’s important. He doesn’t waste time on pleasantries or small talk, getting straight to the point.

4. Omnipresent

This father-in-law is deeply invested in your family’s well-being, often stepping in to help financially or professionally. He might even open a business for you or give you a job in his company. His main goal is to ensure his daughter and her family are well taken care of.

5. The Critic

No matter what you do, it’s never good enough for this father-in-law. He’s quick to point out your flaws and mistakes, and while you might feel he needs therapy, you wouldn’t dare suggest it.

6. Easy-Going

This father-in-law is laid-back and fun to be around. He enjoys cracking jokes and is great at lifting your spirits. When life gets tough, he’s the one to turn to for advice and a good laugh.

7. No-Nonsense

Cross his daughter, and you’ll face the consequences. This father-in-law doesn’t tolerate any mistreatment of his child. If you slip up, expect a stern summons, harsh ultimatums, and possibly some form of punishment.

8. The Young, Sassy, and Technophile

Despite his age, this father-in-law refuses to be called “Mzee” and is active on all social media platforms. He’s health-conscious, exercises daily, and stays away from unhealthy foods. He wants to be seen as youthful and modern, even as he approaches 80.

9. The Evangelist

If you enjoy a drink, this father-in-law will continuously warn you about the dangers of alcohol and the fiery fate that awaits you. His relentless pleas might eventually lead you to give up drinking and start attending church with your wife.

10. The Regular Visitor

This father-in-law is always around—either visiting for medical reasons or to see his grandchildren. Each visit requires you to accommodate him, provide for his meals (no kienyeji while he’s around), and cover his transportation. He’s a constant presence in your home, and you need to be prepared to cater to his needs.