Kenyans open up on childhood trauma from growing up around parents' fights

Several Kenyans have opened up on social media about the painful experiences they went through after growing up in homes where their parents constantly fought.

The conversation, which was shared on Facebook, X and TikTok, gave many people an opportunity to speak about memories they had kept private for years.

Some described witnessing physical violence, while others recalled insults, separation and the fear that came whenever their parents argued.

One woman identified as Sonia said her father used to beat her mother severely. She recalled waking up with her siblings and finding their mother unconscious on the floor.

At times, they feared that she had died.

Another social media user, Doreen Otiende, shared how violence in her home affected her family.

She said her father would sometimes leave the house after conflicts, forcing the children to look for him the following morning because they needed money for food.

Other Kenyans said they often ran to relatives’ homes when their parents fought. Some recalled being sent away from home, hiding in different rooms or staying awake at night because they feared the situation would become worse.

For many of those who shared their stories, the experiences did not end when they became adults.

They said the memories affected their confidence, relationships and understanding of marriage. Some also admitted that they struggle with anxiety whenever they hear people shouting.

A report by a local newspaper noted that many Kenyan adults who grew up in troubled homes still carry the effects of their childhood experiences.

One account described a child who repeatedly witnessed parents fighting and had to escape with siblings to a grandmother’s home.

Research has also shown that children who witness violence between parents can suffer emotional and psychological harm.

They may develop fear, anxiety, anger, low self-esteem and difficulty concentrating in school. Some children may also become withdrawn or aggressive.

According to a UNICEF study, 52 per cent of young women and 51.5 per cent of young men in Kenya had witnessed violence at home during childhood.

The figures show that domestic conflict affects many families across the country.

The social media discussion has encouraged Kenyans to talk more openly about childhood trauma and the need for healing.

Mental health experts continue to urge parents to protect children from violent arguments and seek counselling when conflicts become difficult to manage.

For those who shared their stories, speaking out was an important step towards healing and reminding others that children remember what happens at home.