Manifesting karma: Why wishing for payback might hurt you too

Two sides were having a debate on whether karma exists. Both presented convincing case studies for their arguments, which is why the jury is still out.

If you believe in karma, you think life repays in equal measure. Sometimes in installments, other times in lump sums. The latter is even said to have the power to kill, as it’s an enormous boomerang that never misses its mark.

Believing in karma is comforting for those who have been wronged, those who are powerless, with no friends in high or low places. It’s similar to holding on to the hope of receiving your idea of justice. You live for that day when you can laugh at your enemies. I’ve come to believe that humans are sadists by default—how else can you explain the secret pleasure many get from someone else’s suffering, regardless of what they might have done? I can understand celebrating the downfall of a criminal, but when it comes to matters of love, that’s a waste of karma’s time.

If I were karma, I’d be utterly confused by the different expectations humans have of me. Karma feels like a call centre with perpetually bad service. Partner cheats on me? “Karma, please make their new partner cheat on them.” My neighbour’s grandfather refused to pay the full amount for the land my grandfather sold him? “Karma, please make someone refuse to pay their grandchild the full amount.” It’s a vicious cycle of payback requests.

The debate I was involved in shifted towards romantic relationships. One of the case studies presented by those who don’t believe in karma was about a man who cheated on his wife. They divorced as a result, and he went on to marry the woman he was cheating with. The ex-wife, meanwhile, constantly told anyone who would care to listen that karma would eventually catch up with him. The problem—if you can call it that—was that the new couple went on to have the best relationship either of them had ever had, and they’ve now been happily married for over 10 years, while the ex-wife is still waiting for karma to strike.

What a waste of life.

Or maybe karma knows something we don’t? Just because someone cheats in a relationship, it doesn’t mean they’re automatically in the wrong. Perhaps there were things happening in their home that were bigger than just the cheating?

I wasn’t entirely for or against the idea of karma because I believe the universe (or karma) doesn’t owe you anything just because you’re a good person. I’m one of those people who believes in energies—how you attract the energies you manifest. And those energies should never be wasted on making people pay for hurting your pride, like looking at someone else lustfully.

Energies should be used selfishly, to attract the right people into your life, the right career, and all the good luck. Energies should be spent manifesting good things for yourself and your loved ones. But it’s almost like witchcraft to direct negative energy towards someone you don’t like, or someone you think is too proud. I believe that if you summon bad energy for others, even if you succeed, you’ll still get the remnants of it yourself.

The best form of karma is the one you prepare for yourself. When someone wrongs you, use that energy to move on. Be intentional about being happy, improving yourself, and looking (and being) better without them. But first, you must heal. Cry in private. Swear under your breath. Acknowledge that you’ve been wronged and that your heart has been broken. Ride the wave of disappointment, and only then can you begin to heal.

Don’t try to follow up on that person who wronged you, because all you’re doing is inflating their pride and deflating your own dignity. Accept that they are adults who weighed up the pros and cons of leaving (or hurting you), and that their decision is final. Then, start your journey of finding peace, without consulting karma.