The loss of a job, separation from a partner and the death of a loved one are each major life stressors on their own. For a young man facing several at once, the experience can feel like being stripped of identity, purpose and support, precisely when stability is needed most.
With Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month shining a spotlight on the issue, it is important to examine honestly what such tragedies can do and how communities can respond.
“We need to create more awareness around counselling and mental health because, at times, people blame friends or family without understanding what to look out for or what is really going on in the life of the affected person,” explains Josephine Waithiru, a psychologist at KIPC.
Losing work, for instance, has often been described as an attack on a man’s sense of worth.
For many young men, Waithiru says, employment is more than a source of income. It provides routine, social contact and a sense of achievement.
When it disappears, the fallout can be devastating, leaving the individual in urgent need of support.
Isolation and untreated distress stemming from joblessness, grief or heartbreak can quickly damage friendships and family ties, making the road to recovery even more difficult.
Trust and communication skills may also suffer, affecting future romantic relationships.
Career setbacks can leave lasting scars, including gaps in a CV, reduced confidence during interviews and the need to accept lower-paying work.
All of this can trigger shame, anxiety, substance abuse and social withdrawal. When combined with a relationship breakdown, those feelings can deepen further.
Such circumstances often bring grief, loneliness and a sense of failure, particularly when the relationship or job once provided emotional security or practical support.
This was clearly illustrated in the case of 34-year-old Kenyan David Wachira.
His story went viral on social media after digital creator Derrick Mbugua discovered him sleeping on the streets of Kahawa Wendani late one night.
In a video shared online, Mbugua was seen sitting in his car and observing what appeared to be a bundle covered by a large polythene sheet in the cold.
“Jina yako ni nani, mbona unalala hapa nje?” Mbugua asked.
Hailing from Nyeri County, Wachira recounted his story. He admitted turning to alcohol after losing his job and said his wife had left with their infant son, Emmanuel, for Meru.
He said his wife, Gakii, had since switched off her phone.
Wachira went on to explain where he had worked and how he had once enjoyed a stable life before everything came to an abrupt end, leaving him unable to pay rent and forcing him out of his home.
Moved by the story, Mbugua offered to buy him a warm meal at a nearby restaurant as he continued recounting what had happened.
As Wachira took his first spoonful, Mbugua noticed his hands trembling, apparently due to alcohol withdrawal symptoms.
This prompted him to ask further questions about his drinking.
“Nakunywa pombe juu ya mawazo,” Wachira admitted before once again returning to the subject of his wife leaving and switching off her phone.
Mbugua then offered to call Gakii himself.
Wachira was left in disbelief, his face lighting up with joy.
Promising to rally support from fellow Kenyans, Mbugua assured him that his plight would not go unheard. He then took him to a nearby hotel and booked a room for the night.
In another video, Wachira appeared in fresh clothes with a fresh haircut and a white cap. He spoke to his wife on the phone and even greeted their infant son, a moment that brought him to tears.
Mbugua subsequently continued his campaign to rally Kenyans behind Wachira’s recovery in all aspects of his life.
Stories such as this have prompted experts to caution against harmful social and masculinity norms that push some men into despair.
The perception that men should not seek help when overwhelmed by life, coupled with the tendency to define manhood narrowly through provision and emotional stoicism, is a slow poison to society.
Such expectations can send young men into a downward spiral, creating pressure to “fix” difficult situations alone while maintaining a façade of control despite struggling internally.
Ms Waithiru notes that, together, these experiences increase the risk of depression, hopelessness and substance abuse, alongside sleep disturbances, appetite changes and difficulty concentrating.
She adds that some men withdraw from friends and family to avoid perceived judgement, while others become irritable or angry, masking fear behind defensiveness.
In severe cases, the combination of isolation, heartbreak and despair can increase the risk of self-harm and suicidal thoughts, a key concern during Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month.
June serves as a reminder to shift the response from blame to support.
Several approaches have been identified as effective.
Normalising help-seeking means encouraging young men to speak openly about loss and heartbreak without shame, while recognising that job loss and grief are common life experiences rather than moral failings.
Immediate practical support, including assistance with job searches, CV writing, interview preparation, financial advice and navigating legal or custody matters, can help reduce stress and uncertainty.
Social reconnection through regular check-ins, shared activities and invitations from friends and family can help counter isolation.
Accessible mental health services, ranging from short-term counselling to longer-term rehabilitation and peer support groups, can provide tools for managing grief, depression and anger.
Community programmes, including skills training, mentorship initiatives and fathers’ groups, can create pathways back to employment and social belonging.
For society at large, the responsibility is straightforward: listen without judgement, offer practical support and connect men to professional services when needed.
For young men themselves, it is important to recognise that setbacks are reversible, seek help early and focus on small, consistent steps such as applying for jobs, maintaining routines and staying connected.
Though unemployment, heartbreak or the death of a loved one can feel catastrophic, timely intervention, practical support and compassionate mental health care can help many young men recover, rebuild their careers and form healthier relationships.
Cases such as Wachira’s demonstrate that, with the right support, lives can be turned around before the situation worsens.