'Anti-underwear club' a preserve of the modern woman

The anti-underwear club is a popular umbrella body that has stayed amorphous without any physical address but commands a worldwide following among women. It is the movement that shut down the petticoat industry and is now threatening to finish off investors that put their money on cloth wear to cover our nether parts.

What used to be proper underwear for ladies is now termed ‘mothers’ union’, a derogatory title meant to shame any young woman who still goes around with her entire butt cheeks covered.

At best, the mothers’ union have been relegated to the special days of the month only to hold the sanitary pads in position. In fact, a proper modernized girl should know how to balance a tampon and save the planet from unnecessary clothing. If you still wear panties, you are old-fashioned and are highly unwelcome to the club.

As if killing the petticoat industry was not enough, we have now trained our eyes on a higher target. You see the modern girl is sexually liberated and free at a very early age. She is introduced to the world to conquer sexual pleasures and leave nothing to doubt as she gets ready to start life at forty. During this time most, young men are busy putting together their careers to secure their forties financially.

Of course, the leisure of sex comes with a price tag, mostly in the form of babies, two-legged humans that breathe in and out, eat food and call the woman mama. The forty-year-old woman is therefore ready to unleash and fortify what should be considered a generational atrocity. She aims to pair up with a man who is financially stable to form a family where the entire assortment of children belongs to her from her previous relationships.

Equality agenda

You see, over the past thirty years or so, men have been boxed into a corner where they have become weak and meek and accepted equality as the only thing they must.

They actually are on the frontline yelling about an agenda whose sole purpose was to tame their influence and freedom. Sad! Well, we all know once a hyena tastes blood, it gets thirstier for more blood and goes hunting harder.

The generational wickedness we are aiming for is to ensure that financially stable men are colonized and convinced that it is alright to take care of other men’s children without demanding their own blood. A good number are already buying into the scheme and the few stubborn ones are being classified as weak and toxic for refusing to embrace the new world order. At forty the woman has assembled enough children and tied up her tubes, but she has also gathered enough experience in bed and is emotionally stable enough to deal with a man and make his world spin faster during the day and at night. A forty-plus-year-old woman has kissed enough frogs to separate the PH of the saliva of a good man from a jerk.

A good man is one who is financially stable and can furnish her life with comfort while also taking care of her three children lovingly.

The man should understand that she needs to stay beautiful for his pleasure and they jointly therefore do not have the time for another pregnancy that would strain her physically and emotionally.

We aim to convince men that children are from God and once they love a woman it is a very honorable thing even in the eyes of heaven to embrace children you neither witnessed their processing nor commissioned their rollout.

Come to think of it, the population of children will continue growing and they will have fathers whose blood and genealogy the men do not share. The level of crime has now escalated to the level that post-menopausal women are hitching young boys and numbing their brains with heavenly sex from the experience they have gathered over the years.

Sadly, when our urge for orgasms wanes we look at the men in their eye and remind them that none of our children belong to them. We unflinchingly show them the door and remind them to go find a woman who can have their own babies to make a family. The kindest of us might remember to thank them for the years of support but in most cases, we feel no guilt because we are the generation tasked to pay back the men for the sins of their forefathers.