Stop feeling guilty about quitting a failed relationship

Something that men have perfected over time is dumping (sic) women they’ve dated when the said women are at their lowest. They don’t care. A man rarely really cares about the state he leaves the women he’s been with. When the time comes and he feels like he wants to leave, bro goes and never looks back! Some even start other relationships within the relationship and by the time of the breakup, he’s already in a six months stable relationship. 

A man will wake up and leave his pregnant girlfriend and he’ll feel nothing about it. Y’all have seen and read about ‘he left me when I was three weeks pregnant and has never come back’ kinda stories.

Then there are those who leave their women (read wives) when they have a special child. Yaani you cuddle and a child is born out of the cuddles, but because the bundle of joy needs special care, the dude flees leaving the woman to bear the sacrifice of raising such a child alone. Man!

What I’m trying to say here is, whenever a man thinks or feels he wants to leave, he leaves without any explanation and feels just good about it.

It’s women who look for reasons and even if the reasons for leaving are bare and fair, she’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and stay, sometimes for the kids, other times for family, for society and/or for the church.

Don’t you think it’s okay to break up with a man, whenever a woman feels like she doesn’t want him? Edit - si it’s just okay when she leaves him the moment he loses his job? Gets broke? Becomes ugly overnight? Or adds some unnecessary weight and grows a funny pot belly?

Ladies have always given a second thought and some good benefits of the doubt. They don’t just call it quits fwaa. They wait. And wait. And still, wait until it becomes unbearable. 

Women, too, grow out of love. What if she doesn’t find you attractive anymore? Just the way men walk around telling their side chicks how their wives have ugly stretch marks or have grown baby fat after childbirth so they’re not attractive in bed, in the kitchen, in the balcony blah blah blah.

We hear this often, and somehow, we’re used to the old narrative. Do Y’all think all men remain attractive throughout the relationship? Daily? Like, from January to December? Aaaii!

I recently read a man who had done those ‘hide ID’ posts in some marriage group, ranting and whining about how his girlfriend of three years apparently dumped him when he lost his job and couldn’t pay bills, and I almost choked on laughter! Buana, men leave women daily, at their very lowest and it’s normal actually! Kwanza the pregnancy part - so, a man engages in sextivities that would definitely result in a baby but when he hears of that, he Omanyalas before the cock crows! So back to the man who had lost his job and then lost the love of his life, bros were there cursing the woman calling her heartless, and reciting the karma narrative, the way she should never have peace.

Because? She broke up with a man? Men have done this all along and they have the peace that surpasses human understanding! They eat and drink and fart - comfortably!

It’s okay, Stella, if you feel like he can’t, or isn’t ‘bringing something to the table’, leave. You don’t owe anyone any explanation. We will understand, the world must understand. And adjust. Men are strong people. They’re the stronger gender and strong doesn’t apply to physically alone. Man must be emotionally stronger, to walk through a breakup easily. 

We joke a lot about this whole issue but it’s time women normalised leaving whenever they feel like, especially at the lowest point of the other gender. Don’t stay for him, stay for you and the moment you realise you don’t have the reason to stay, or the reason has been cut off, babe, cut off the relationship too! It’s normal.

As long as a man can leave a pregnant woman when she needs him most, it’s very much okay for a woman to leave a man when he loses his job.

Two totally different scenarios, same script. Y’all be crying about the tit that hurts and saying nothing about that!