Your man owes you loyalty, not his side chick

We’ve always come across this “homewrecker” phrase in our daily lives. And since the phrase is normally directed to women, I’d like us to have a discussion about homes and wreckages or wreckers. About marriages and have it in detail, who actually breaks those marriages that get broken?

We are not going to quote the Holy Book and what it says about the foolish woman and what she does to her house. A family man hitting on a single or fellow married woman is no longer as shock-inducing as it used to be and that itself speaks volumes. It’s almost normal, actually, such situationships are very normal in the present world.

Not that loyal men don’t exist, but the fact that they’re rare to find seems closer to the truth every day, no? Throw in the complications that the current world has created in terms of relationships and you’ll agree that the concept of monogamy is heading speedily towards extinction. We’ve read this right in this column, haven’t we?

From time immemorial, women rarely hold their hubbies accountable for having an affair outside their marriage. It’s always about the mpango wa kando and how they are wrecking marriages and breaking homes they didn’t build. I don’t know how and why you would subject a total stranger to shaming, anger, ridicule, and disdain for a mistake initiated and done by someone right there with you! Can we do one step back and hold our persons accountable for bad behaviour instead of blaming the other person involved? Because in all honesty, even if it wasn’t her, it would still be someone else.

By now, we should have agreed that no woman breaks anyone’s marriage or home. None. A strange woman out there owes no loyalty to a fellow woman who is married. Well, let’s get it in simple terms.

Between the woman (who’s been seduced) and the man, who owes the wife loyalty? Of course, it’s the man because he’s the one who exchanged vows with his wife, and even if he didn’t, he promised her his unending love and fidelity. 

Men, fully conscious of their decision and aware of their responsibility towards their wives, pursue other women out there for their own selfish and silly reasons. Do y’all know that some of these men ‘kill and bury’ their wives just for cheating’s sake?

Yes - they go out there posing like widowers just to have a taste and bite of the forbidden fruit! They’re the cause of broken marriages and wrecked homes as you might call them. No woman comes to forcefully take one’s husband.

I have never understood why men who cheat and philanderer are never held accountable and responsible for their intentional actions instead of blaming the women. As the head of the home, the stronger gender, the decision maker in the marriage, when he makes a decision to philander, why suddenly does it become the other woman’s fault that the marriage is wrecked? With all the superiority and masculinity, they still can’t own up.

The other woman, single or not, has no responsibility for how firm a marriage is supposed to be. I know y’all will say she has the choice to say no to a married man but hey, what if she says yes? What if? It’s not her damning job to think for a man’s marriage and remind her that he is indeed married when he has forgotten that he is.

Men are not infants who can’t reason for themselves. Even teens take responsibility for their actions. They have always won these battles. And looks like they’ll still be winning, no matter what.

Until the day we start holding them accountable for their own actions until we stop blaming the other woman for mistakes committed by a man who knows what he’s doing, they will still win this game.

When you blame someone else when your person cheats, you’re basically conveying to the masses that it’s not his fault and it will never be. You’re fine-tuning him to believe it’s expected of him to cheat and, he’ll stop this and move on to the next affair. His side chicks don’t owe you any loyalty,  he does. Hold him accountable.