Nairobi is one big bedroom

But wait, can one really find love in Nairobi? Genuine love? Because it’s now easier to get sex in the city, making it harder for people who want love, to find it. Well, there are those lucky ones who’ve found love within and are living happily ever after, but how many, in five? How genuine is this Nairobi love?
Too much sexitivities and sexapades happening around town with no relationships, no strings attached, no commitment. Yaani the hook-up culture has been normalised to the extent that it’s no big deal.

People getting laid within minutes of choma and cheap gin made in Kariobangi that they wouldn’t even remember the other person’s second name the following day!
Friends with benefits now rule the world. We have casualized sex and anyone who speaks of love in this big city will be looked at as someone who really doesn’t know Nairobi. Love and Nairobi in the same sentence? Dream on.
‘Nairobi...yule anakupea, pia ananipea akikuletea, ananiletea.’ remember how Bensoul and Sautisol hit our airwaves with this tune a year ago and we all agreed with every word from the lyrics? 
The current dating trend or idea of dating in the capital, is purely sexual. And sex is no big deal. We are living the Big Bang theory. It’s all about a dude taking a babe out for booze somewhere in the CBD or outside town like Rongai or Syokimau (if he has a few thousand). Choma, two mizinga of gin, six cans of guarana then later smash each other the whole night like horny bunnies. 
Voila! It’s a date. It’s done and dusted, and the chances of these two ever meeting again are minimal. Whatever happened to people knowing each other before rubber meating the rod?

Sex has been cheaply commercialized
There’s no decency in Nairobi’s dating scene. People are commitment-phobic and a mention of the term commitment will keep you single in your bedsitter for another decade. Here, it’s purely chew and go. 

Sex has been cheaply commercialized and no one is willing to keep a whole snorty pig when they can easily get a sausage at a negotiable price, bei ya jioni. 
The closest people move to commitment is simply having a situationship where they hover around each other as friends with benefits. Money, booze, sex. Repeat, not necessary in that order. This is the Nairobi trend. The weekend is here and either two or all the above, are on any random Nairobian’s mind. 
Good for those who remember protection. People go back to offices on Monday with terrible hangies, stinking liqour and illicit sex. And no, we ain’t talking about singles only. Married people do shit out here.
The pressures of this noisy, adulterous city has hardened and robbed people of the love culture. The amount of character development that Nairobians have served each other has made everyone unemotional and too toxic for a sustainable kinda relationship. 
We now thrive on short term situationships, weekend sextivities and purely casual but beneficial ties that keep us moving until the next day. If it lasts long enough, well. If it doesn’t? No biggie! On to the next available human.
Pick me’s and booty calls are so much available that even the skimply dressed babes on the streets of the CBD ain’t making enough chums. Call, Uber, Netflix and Chill. Easy! 
Open relationships have also been embraced albeit the man being the man, benefits more because society will obviously frown at a woman who embraces an open relationship and goes ahead to bang other men. 
Kaswende and Kisonono plus all other embarrassing infections don’t spare such arrangements because you think a random booze date ends with condoms? Where on earth?
People who want relationships, long-term and sustainable relationships, should not try that shit in Nairobi!  Like I said earlier, in Nairobi, we just eat. And we rarely keep whatever we eat.
Well, hook-up culture is not that bad. The fact that everyone is allowed to have whomever they want, whenever, is a good thing.