Singles are having more sex than married couples

Hollywood great Will Smith may have smacked comedian Chris Rock in the face in defense of his woman, but don’t be cheated. Relationships are dead. Actually, most young adults who should be in serious and stable relationships are partying from club to club and enjoying life like there is no tomorrow. Ask around and you will realize that marriage is not the ultimate goal for the average Kenyan adult today. It is not something that they’re interested in or looking forward to, and they don’t crave love like we used to, decades ago.

Yani, the idea of just volunteering to pick up a fellow adult whose upbringing or genes you have not the faintest clue and then vowing to love and to cherish, in sickness and health till death do you part, as in generally stomach their bullshit, freaks these young people big time! Casual sex has been normalized to the extent that it is no longer a big deal. Man sees a girl on Facebook or social media sites specifically erected, pun fully intended, for casual sex, and slides into her inbox. Sext, sext, sext. The next day, the pair meet, get drunk and three hours later are banging like rabbits.

One can’t keep a whole effing pig if they can pick a sausage from a freezer at the supermarket is a new religion. And who would fault them? Casual sex is available at any given time. With whomever, whenever. Gone are the days when referring to a woman as ‘malaya’ would send them directly into depression. They nowadays laugh about it when it is used as an insult.

You won’t be surprised when you realize that single people are engaging in more sexitivities than married couples! When Agatha says she’s not dating, it doesn’t mean she is celibate. Akina Brayos and Kevos of this town are enjoying this life, chewing whatever they want, whenever wherever. See how the story of the pig and a few sausages comes in? Young girls are playing pick-me’s and it doesn’t bother them. At all.

Friends with benefits was something meant to politely define casual sex. Sex without commitment and unnecessary attachments. No questions, no plans, no dates, and flowers and bars of chocolates. Just steamy random sex at the touch of a button and drop off some pin. The current generation doesn’t see marriage or committed relationships as part of adulting. It’s no longer part of growth or a rite of passage. 

I don’t know if it’s all about the fear of the unknown, being disappointed in previous relationships, or having been brought up in broken families, but believe me, the whole idea of marriage is slowly fading away.
Cohabitation is the closest one can come to marriage. And you know, mere cohabiting doesn’t translate to commitment or exclusivity. There is some form of unwritten freedom in such a complication. Open, sort of. Like, come let’s try this sh!t and see if it works. But still, we are allowed to hook up out there and have fun, not owning each other those of ‘my person’ this and that.
Many young adults have been there, done that, and considered marriage a big threat to freedom and personal space. They consider kids as little noisy humans that trap two adults who fell out of love long ago to stick together for the sake of bringing them up in a complete family setting. Stuck in a boring, loveless union in the name of love for the children. 
Family and societal norms and morals have been ignored. Well, some would have a kid. Or two. Just that. And once the tois are grown enough to be left with the care of a nanny, things begin happening. 
A heartbreak or two, and proper character development are the ingredients that breed friends with benefits. The candidates just relax, re-energise, then restrategise. Shower a good one then go back to the market, literally, this time around as the coach. 
Netflix. Booze. Choma and road-tripping are the new normal. This is the polite definition of casual sex. Fridays through Sundays are purely fornication days. It may shock your local pastor, but friends with benefits and hook-up buddies have been saving lives since 1867. Commitment for who? No accountability. If we die we die! Meanwhile, parents, aunties, and uncles are wearing their old knees out in church praying for weddings that will never be.